The Garbage-Time Hex of Ben VanSumeren
Ben VanSumeren · KC · RB
“VanSumeren runs for 98 yards, one short of the bonus, then goes down on the kneel-down. Scorched.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins VanSumeren's week
- VanSumeren will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- VanSumeren finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
82%POTENCY
-18.7PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A used challenge flag
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
VanSumeren drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Ben VanSumeren in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ben VanSumeren is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ben VanSumeren actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.