The Snap Count Hex of Braelon Allen
Braelon Allen · NYJ · RB
“Allen sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen scores 0 fantasy points and is somehow also responsible for 2 turnovers.
- Allen finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
88%POTENCY
-14.8PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single 49ers jersey, ironically worn
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Jets locker room
Incantation
Eye of Steelers, tongue of ref,
Bring Jets down to grief,
Allen scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Braelon Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Braelon Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Braelon Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.