The Garbage-Time Hex of Braelon Allen
Braelon Allen · NYJ · RB
“Allen will fumble on his first touch and live in the doghouse until the 4th quarter.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen rushes 22 times for 51 yards. A heroic, beautiful, useless day.
- Allen gets stuffed so hard the broadcast shows a replay in slow motion, from three angles.
84%POTENCY
-15.5PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Allen's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Braelon Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Braelon Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Braelon Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.