The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Braelon Allen
Braelon Allen · NYJ · RB
“Allen tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen gets 3 yards per carry and one 2-yard catch on a screen. Efficient. In a sad way.
- Allen gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
73%POTENCY
-15.3PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Allen drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Braelon Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Braelon Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Braelon Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.