The Goal-Line Vulture Hex of Braelon Allen
Braelon Allen · NYJ · RB
“Allen rushes 22 times for 51 yards. A heroic, beautiful, useless day.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
- Allen gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Wisconsin's biggest rival.
77%POTENCY
-10.5PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single Buccaneers jersey, ironically worn
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A single tear from a Rams fan
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Allen drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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- Kyren Williams
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FAQ
How do I curse Braelon Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Braelon Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Braelon Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.