The Garbage-Time Hex of Braelon Allen
Braelon Allen · NYJ · RB
“Allen gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Wisconsin's biggest rival.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
- Allen gets stuffed so hard the broadcast shows a replay in slow motion, from three angles.
80%POTENCY
-10PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Allen's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Braelon Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Braelon Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Braelon Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.