The Stuffed Run Hex of Braelon Allen
Braelon Allen · NYJ · RB
“Allen is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Allen gets stuffed so hard the broadcast shows a replay in slow motion, from three angles.
78%POTENCY
-9.5PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single Patriots jersey, ironically worn
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Allen, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Braelon Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Braelon Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Braelon Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.