The Shank Hex of Brandon Aubrey
Brandon Aubrey · DAL · K
“Aubrey gets one attempt: a 63-yarder into a headwind. Wide left. 0 points. 1 tear.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Aubrey's week
- A mysterious flag erases Aubrey's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
- Aubrey's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.
81%POTENCY
-14.8PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- Powdered kicker confidence
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Aubrey's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- CeeDee Lamb
- George Pickens
- Javonte Williams
- Dak Prescott
- Jake Ferguson
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Brandon Aubrey in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brandon Aubrey is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brandon Aubrey actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.