The Hamstring Hex of Brandon Aubrey
Brandon Aubrey · DAL · K
“Aubrey attempts a field goal, the holder pulls it back, and gets sacked at the 12. Points: 0. Dignity: also 0.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Aubrey's week
- Aubrey will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- Aubrey's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.
90%POTENCY
-10.2PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Aubrey drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- CeeDee Lamb
- George Pickens
- Javonte Williams
- Dak Prescott
- Jake Ferguson
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Brandon Aubrey in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brandon Aubrey is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brandon Aubrey actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.