The Doink Hex of Brandon Aubrey
Brandon Aubrey · DAL · K
“Aubrey finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Aubrey's week
- Aubrey sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
- Aubrey will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
78%POTENCY
-14.2PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Aubrey's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- CeeDee Lamb
- George Pickens
- Javonte Williams
- Dak Prescott
- Jake Ferguson
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Brandon Aubrey in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brandon Aubrey is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brandon Aubrey actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.