The Hamstring Hex of Brandon Aubrey
Brandon Aubrey · DAL · K
“Aubrey will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Aubrey's week
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Aubrey's stadium. Only over Aubrey.
- Aubrey is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
81%POTENCY
-16.5PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Aubrey, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- CeeDee Lamb
- George Pickens
- Javonte Williams
- Dak Prescott
- Jake Ferguson
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Brandon Aubrey in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brandon Aubrey is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brandon Aubrey actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.