The Wide Left Hex of Brandon Aubrey
Brandon Aubrey · DAL · K
“Aubrey will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Aubrey's week
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Aubrey's stadium. Only over Aubrey.
- The crowd chants "WIDE LEFT" for Aubrey. Aubrey does not ignore it. Neither does the ball.
81%POTENCY
-17.9PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Aubrey drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Brandon Aubrey in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Brandon Aubrey is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Brandon Aubrey actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.