The Shank Hex of Chad Ryland
Chad Ryland · ARI · K
“Ref: "Number Ryland, that's a flag." Ryland: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Ryland's week
- Ryland attempts a field goal, the holder pulls it back, and gets sacked at the 12. Points: 0. Dignity: also 0.
- Ryland hits the upright twice, then the other upright, then somehow the crossbar from the side.
86%POTENCY
-17.4PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Ryland drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Trey McBride
- Tyler Allgeier
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
- Harrison Mevis
- Harrison Butker
FAQ
How do I curse Chad Ryland in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Chad Ryland is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Chad Ryland actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.