The Butter-Finger Hex of Cyrus Allen
Cyrus Allen · KC · WR
“Rookie Allen gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Allen's stadium. Only over Allen.
- The broadcast shows Allen on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
80%POTENCY
-14.4PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Jaguars locker room
- A single tear from a Commanders fan
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Allen's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Kenneth Walker III
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Cyrus Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cyrus Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cyrus Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.