The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Cyrus Allen
Cyrus Allen · KC · WR
“Allen finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
- Allen gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
92%POTENCY
-15.6PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Bills locker room
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Allen's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Kenneth Walker III
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Cyrus Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cyrus Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cyrus Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.