The Butter-Finger Hex of Cyrus Allen
Cyrus Allen · KC · WR
“Allen's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Rookie Allen gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
77%POTENCY
-14.7PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered kicker confidence
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
Incantation
Allen, Allen, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Kenneth Walker III
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Cyrus Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cyrus Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cyrus Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.