The Butter-Finger Hex of Cyrus Allen
Cyrus Allen · KC · WR
“Rookie Allen gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Cincinnati's biggest rival.
- Ref: "Number Allen, that's a flag." Allen: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
87%POTENCY
-14.4PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Allen's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Kenneth Walker III
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Cyrus Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cyrus Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cyrus Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.