The Butter-Finger Hex of Cyrus Allen
Cyrus Allen · KC · WR
“Allen will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.
- Rookie Allen gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
85%POTENCY
-18.7PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Allen's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Kenneth Walker III
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Cyrus Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cyrus Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cyrus Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.