The Garbage-Time Hex of Dallas Cowboys
Dallas Cowboys defense
“The Cowboys defense is gashed by a QB who has not thrown a TD all year. His mom is in the stands.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Dallas Cowboys defense's week
- The Cowboys defense lets a 4th-and-17 conversion happen. Then another. Then a trick play.
- The Cowboys defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.
78%POTENCY
-13.8PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Cowboys drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- CeeDee Lamb
- George Pickens
- Javonte Williams
- Dak Prescott
- Brandon Aubrey
- Jake Ferguson
- Kendre Miller
- Ryan Flournoy
- Michael Trigg
- KaVontae Turpin
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Cowboys defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Cowboys defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Cowboys defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.