The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Dallas Cowboys
Dallas Cowboys defense
“The Cowboys offense turns it over 4 times in their own territory. The defense is simply tired.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Dallas Cowboys defense's week
- The Cowboys defense is "disguising coverages". The disguise is a clown nose. Fully see-through.
- The Cowboys defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.
85%POTENCY
-10.2PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Cowboys's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- CeeDee Lamb
- George Pickens
- Javonte Williams
- Dak Prescott
- Brandon Aubrey
- Jake Ferguson
- Kendre Miller
- Ryan Flournoy
- Michael Trigg
- KaVontae Turpin
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Cowboys defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Cowboys defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Cowboys defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.