The Blown Coverage Hex of Dallas Cowboys
Dallas Cowboys defense
“The Cowboys defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Dallas Cowboys defense's week
- The Cowboys defense generates 0 sacks, 0 turnovers and a lot of vibes.
- The Cowboys defense is "bend, don't break" and then breaks every single time.
87%POTENCY
-16.8PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- Powdered kicker confidence
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Cowboys drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- CeeDee Lamb
- George Pickens
- Javonte Williams
- Dak Prescott
- Brandon Aubrey
- Jake Ferguson
- Kendre Miller
- Ryan Flournoy
- Michael Trigg
- KaVontae Turpin
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Cowboys defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Cowboys defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Cowboys defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.