The Garbage-Time Hex of Dallas Cowboys
Dallas Cowboys defense
“The Cowboys defense is gashed by a QB who has not thrown a TD all year. His mom is in the stands.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Dallas Cowboys defense's week
- The Cowboys defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.
- The Cowboys defense is "bend, don't break" and then breaks every single time.
90%POTENCY
-18.7PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A used challenge flag
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Cowboys drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- CeeDee Lamb
- George Pickens
- Javonte Williams
- Dak Prescott
- Brandon Aubrey
- Jake Ferguson
- Kendre Miller
- Ryan Flournoy
- Michael Trigg
- KaVontae Turpin
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Cowboys defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Cowboys defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Cowboys defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.