The Garbage-Time Hex of Dallas Cowboys
Dallas Cowboys defense
“The Cowboys defense is "disguising coverages". The disguise is a clown nose. Fully see-through.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Dallas Cowboys defense's week
- The Cowboys will give up a touchdown to a tight end who was a high school wrestler. Net -2 points.
- The Cowboys defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.
83%POTENCY
-10.1PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Cowboys's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- CeeDee Lamb
- George Pickens
- Javonte Williams
- Dak Prescott
- Brandon Aubrey
- Jake Ferguson
- Kendre Miller
- Ryan Flournoy
- Michael Trigg
- KaVontae Turpin
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Cowboys defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Cowboys defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Cowboys defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.