The Kneel-Down Heartbreak Hex of Dylan Sampson
Dylan Sampson · CLE · RB
“Sampson gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Sampson's week
- A mysterious flag erases Sampson's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
- Sampson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
91%POTENCY
-17.2PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Sampson drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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FAQ
How do I curse Dylan Sampson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dylan Sampson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dylan Sampson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.