The Kneel-Down Heartbreak Hex of Dylan Sampson
Dylan Sampson · CLE · RB
“Coach says Sampson is "fresh" and sits him for the entire second half of a close game.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Sampson's week
- A mysterious flag erases Sampson's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
- Sampson gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
79%POTENCY
-11.6PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Sampson drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
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FAQ
How do I curse Dylan Sampson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dylan Sampson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dylan Sampson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.