The Goal-Line Vulture Hex of Dylan Sampson
Dylan Sampson · CLE · RB
“A localized thunderstorm forms over Sampson's stadium. Only over Sampson.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Sampson's week
- Sampson sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
- Sampson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Tennessee's biggest rival.
73%POTENCY
-14.1PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Bears locker room
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Sampson's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Dylan Sampson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dylan Sampson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dylan Sampson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.