The Late Scratch Hex of Dylan Sampson
Dylan Sampson · CLE · RB
“Sampson's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Sampson's week
- Sampson is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
- Sampson gets the ball 4 times inside the 10. The pylon, however, is fine.
80%POTENCY
-18.4PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Sampson's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Dylan Sampson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dylan Sampson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dylan Sampson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.