The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Dylan Sampson
Dylan Sampson · CLE · RB
“Sampson is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Sampson's week
- Sampson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Tennessee's biggest rival.
- The broadcast shows Sampson on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
83%POTENCY
-19.2PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single Commanders jersey, ironically worn
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Chiefs locker room
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Sampson drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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- Derrick Henry
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- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
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FAQ
How do I curse Dylan Sampson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dylan Sampson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dylan Sampson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.