The Goal-Line Vulture Hex of Dylan Sampson
Dylan Sampson · CLE · RB
“Sampson's offensive line takes the day off. Spiritually.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Sampson's week
- Sampson gets the ball 4 times inside the 10. The pylon, however, is fine.
- Sampson is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
83%POTENCY
-9.5PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Sampson's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Dylan Sampson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dylan Sampson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dylan Sampson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.