The Kneel-Down Heartbreak Hex of Dylan Sampson
Dylan Sampson · CLE · RB
“Sampson will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Sampson's week
- Sampson will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- Sampson is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
83%POTENCY
-18.9PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Sampson's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Dylan Sampson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dylan Sampson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dylan Sampson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.