The Kneel-Down Heartbreak Hex of Dylan Sampson
Dylan Sampson · CLE · RB
“Sampson is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Sampson's week
- Sampson is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Sampson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
87%POTENCY
-15.5PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Sampson's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Dylan Sampson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dylan Sampson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dylan Sampson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.