The Doink Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Bates will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Coach goes for it on 4th-and-2 every time Bates trots out. He watches from the bench like a retiree.
- The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Bates is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.
88%POTENCY
-17.3PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Bates, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.