The Hamstring Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Bates gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
- Bates hits the upright twice, then the other upright, then somehow the crossbar from the side.
91%POTENCY
-11.1PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Bates, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.