The Hamstring Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Bates goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Bates gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
77%POTENCY
-9.5PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- A single Colts jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Bates's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.