The Doink Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Bates gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Arkansas's biggest rival.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Bates makes a 58-yarder... in pregame. Not counted.
83%POTENCY
-18.6PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Commanders locker room
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Bates's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.