The Shank Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Bates attempts a field goal, the holder pulls it back, and gets sacked at the 12. Points: 0. Dignity: also 0.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Ref: "Number Bates, that's a flag." Bates: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
- Bates gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Arkansas's biggest rival.
74%POTENCY
-9.1PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Steelers locker room
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Bates drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.