The Doink Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Coach goes for it on 4th-and-2 every time Bates trots out. He watches from the bench like a retiree.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.
- Bates gets one attempt: a 63-yarder into a headwind. Wide left. 0 points. 1 tear.
84%POTENCY
-17.7PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Bates, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.