The Mystery Tweak Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Bates is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.
- Bates will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
81%POTENCY
-15.3PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Bates, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.