The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Bates kicks a perfect ball into the end zone... and it is a kickoff. For the other team.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Arkansas's biggest rival.
- Bates is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
83%POTENCY
-18.7PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Bates's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.