The Wide Left Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Bates hits the upright twice, then the other upright, then somehow the crossbar from the side.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Bates sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
79%POTENCY
-18.8PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single tear from a Broncos fan
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Bates's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.