The Shank Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Bates finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Bates is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.
- The broadcast shows Bates on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
92%POTENCY
-18.9PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A used challenge flag
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
Incantation
Bates, Bates, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.