The Doink Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Bates makes a 58-yarder... in pregame. Not counted.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.
- Bates gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Arkansas's biggest rival.
89%POTENCY
-16.5PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A single tear from a Chargers fan
- An unused timeout (still warm)
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Bates's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.