The Wide Left Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Bates warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Arkansas's biggest rival.
- Bates gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.
83%POTENCY
-15.2PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Bates's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.