The Butter-Finger Hex of Jalen Coker
Jalen Coker · CAR · WR
“Coker tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Coker's week
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Coker's stadium. Only over Coker.
- Coker finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
76%POTENCY
-18.7PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the 49ers locker room
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Coker's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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- Justin Jefferson
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- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
- Rashee Rice
FAQ
How do I curse Jalen Coker in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jalen Coker is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jalen Coker actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.