The Phantom Holding Hex of Jalen Coker
Jalen Coker · CAR · WR
“Coker gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Holy Cross's biggest rival.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Coker's week
- Coker finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Coker gets quarantined by a cornerback named Cornelius who has never been beaten. Ever.
89%POTENCY
-18.6PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Coker's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
- Rashee Rice
FAQ
How do I curse Jalen Coker in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jalen Coker is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jalen Coker actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.