The Garbage-Time Hex of James Cook III
James Cook III · BUF · RB
“A localized thunderstorm forms over Cook III's stadium. Only over Cook III.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Cook III's week
- A mysterious flag erases Cook III's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
- Cook III finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
83%POTENCY
-19.2PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- A single Steelers jersey, ironically worn
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
Incantation
Eye of Colts, tongue of ref,
Bring Bills down to grief,
Cook III scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Josh Allen
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse James Cook III in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If James Cook III is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing James Cook III actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.