The Hamstring Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff gets the 3rd-and-long checkdown treatment. 2 yards. Punt. Repeat until Monday.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff will throw for 340 yards and 0 touchdowns. The efficiency of a parking ticket.
- Goff's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
85%POTENCY
-14.2PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Eye of Jets, tongue of ref,
Bring Lions down to grief,
Goff scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.