The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
- Garbage time arrives early for Goff: 29 points of garbage, scored by the other team.
79%POTENCY
-18.2PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Goff's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.