The Intentional Grounding Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“A localized thunderstorm forms over Goff's stadium. Only over Goff.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff gets the 3rd-and-long checkdown treatment. 2 yards. Punt. Repeat until Monday.
- Goff gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
92%POTENCY
-10.3PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A single tear from a Vikings fan
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Goff, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.