The Sideline-Scold Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff gets hit on the arm in the first quarter and "plays through it" at 41% accuracy.
- The broadcast shows Goff on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
92%POTENCY
-12.5PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Goff's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.